the agony and irony of it all

So i have been going threw a few blogs and I've realized that 1 mine is shit...I mean even compared to the least appealing one i have seen.  I feel this almost overwhelming feeling that I am marching around with a bunch  of peacock feathers hanging out of my ass.  Look at me I'm so ungodly important.  While others are simply going about talking about whatever and it seems at least to me is I'm the one with the sick desperation in ever one of my posts.  Same reason I could never post more then one video on youtube...i don't like pushing myself on other people...blogroll or comment on others just to have hopes someone will comment back.  Some sort of social networking nightmare.  my Facebook has a bazillion friends...my blog has so many viewers....I guess I should state my goal here...I want to feel my thoughts are not that of just some lunatic... writing is the only thing I have any talent at...it is also the only thing I am proud of.  Even though I realize I'm not good at it.  If you comment on my blog I will on yours.  But I will only comment honestly as I expect you to do the same.   If you disagree with what I say tell me why....hell debates are all ways fun....and I do need desperately to be put in my place...now for the secret the thing i try to deny even to myself.  I want to be told I am important that my ideas are unique and valid.  I hate myself for this....its the thing that drives me and stops me from putting any real effort into this....no ruff drafts no backspaces no redo's....its all raw and idiotic