Who will save me from being a man?

Alcohol saved the two male  role models in my life of this task.  If our fathers are our Earthly representations of god.  Then Maybe you can see why I find it so difficult to pray.  As for me I shall shortly become a father....My son Mathayus full of innocence and youth....his name underlined as a type...but he's the only part of my life that isn't a mistake.  Who will save him?  I am surely not qualified.  Shall I let go of tradition for a whim?  One step at a time.  Maybe Mathayus will find  comfort into praying to a ever loving god.....And be the man I could never be.